Manifesto for when I find myself in the corners

I find myself

In the corner of the car

Writing again

En route to Marrakech

Thinking of how I always find myself gravitating towards the edges

Like in the far end corner of our kitchen in Jeddah

That always elicits my poetry

I find the courage to slow down around those confinements.

it reminds me, how I used to feel a lot of shame for being sensitive

Sensitive in how I express myself, sensitive in how I’m moved by people, sensitive in how I’m very particular in the words I choose-

I find myself in this enticing threshold

Maneuvering between how I express myself

How it’s my charm now.

On the edges of Casablanca

i realize how the corner I grew to feel isolated by, is how I energize, how magnetic this space grew to be

it reminds me of the 12 year old in me who grew up wanting to be a writer. It was the only way I could make sense of the inner changes happening around me.

Shame felt so big. And it occupied a lot.

Today a light bulb sparked.

And I realized how this sensitivity is how I make sense of the world. The need to define things and put words to them. Along the way- I lost touch of the ability to be moved

But I feel it reignite again

It feels like a beautiful becoming- to be centerfield, right in the middle, confronting the big words and feelings again.